Whether starting over from scratch or opening a new school year, many teachers come on too strong when teaching classroom management.
Demanding and forewarning, growling and glaring.
Even the mildest-mannered teachers can become overbearing when it comes to laying down the law in the classroom.
And although most don’t consciously or overtly try to scare students into behaving, there is an unmistakable undercurrent of intimidation in the way they present their classroom management plan.
The thinking is that in this day and age you have to talk tough.
You have to carry yourself with a demanding and aggressive presence or your students will walk all over you.
But it isn’t true.
Fear and intimidation belong in the dark ages of classroom management. The truth is, you can’t force today’s students into behaving. You can’t strong-arm them into listening to you, following your rules, or even caring what you have to say.
You can try—as so many do—but it doesn’t work.
It will backfire on you every time.
Here’s why:
It creates an us-against-them mentality.
The moment you crossover from being seen as the trusted leader to being viewed as an antagonist or enemy, bad things begin to happen. And so by aggressively driving home your classroom plan, rather than focusing on the teaching and learning of it, you alienate your students before your plan is even in place.
It frames classroom management in a negative light.
When you present behavior expectations with an abrasive, new-sheriff-in-town attitude, it causes students to see classroom management as something negative—as something to object to and rail against. The truth is, effective classroom management is a wonderful and freeing benefit for your students, as well as for you. And you have to present it as such.
It boxes you in.
Coming on too strong will force you to behave similarly whenever you have to deal with misbehavior. Otherwise, your students won’t take you seriously. In other words, if you try to enforce a consequence with a calm and pleasant demeanor, for example, but you’ve already established yourself as a tough-talking disciplinarian, they’ll assume you don’t really mean it.
It turns you into a mean teacher.
Once you take on the persona of a “mean” teacher, you’ll have to carry it with you for the rest of the year—unless you learn a better way. And what can be so frustrating to a lot of teachers is that, despite being easygoing most of the time, that 5% when dealing with misbehavior marks you as “mean” and unlikable in the eyes of your students.
It makes building rapport and influence a near-impossibility.
I’ve heard teachers claim that they don’t mind if students dislike them. This may be true, but when your students don’t like you, your ability to build rapport and influence goes down the drain. And without this ability, you’ll always struggle with classroom management. You’ll need that “mean” persona, and much more, just to keep a lid on our classroom.
It encourages rebelliousness.
If your students view your classroom management plan as something that keeps them from enjoying school, rather than the very thing that protects and ensures their right to enjoy school, then they will rebel against it with all their might. It will become something to push against, outsmart, and get away with, causing them to sneak misbehavior behind your back at every turn.
A Better Way
When your focus is on teaching classroom management—through detailed modeling, role-play, and practice—rather than trying to convince students through your tough-as-nails posture that you really mean it, you’re free to be yourself, even have fun while presenting your plan.
And the good news is that teaching classroom management in this naturally charismatic way is so much more effective—both in the short and the long term. Your students will absorb the true purpose of classroom management, seeing it as a necessary but liberating benefit rather than a downpour on their parade.
Whether it’s the first day of school or a need to push the restart button on classroom management, it is the first step to creating the class you really want. It is the first step to making your classroom a place students look forward to coming to every day.
It is the first step to a dream class.
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Want to thank you so much for this website!! I instinctively want to teach just as you describe, but many times don’t know how to put it in action, or can’t put the theory in words. Your site has tweaked me and this has, by far, been the best year ever!
I teach high school and have received many letters from my students telling me how much they appreciate the fact that I respect them, I don’t play favorites, and the class is fun and exciting (because of my classroom management!).
Your book needs to be in colleges!! My first year would have been as good as this year (6th) if the college had taught your style of classroom management. I hope you actively push your book to college professors. Thanks and please don’t quit writing the weekly articles.
Way to go, Teri! And thanks for your comments. I’ll keep writing every week.
Michael
This week I have tried following the classroom management plan 100% of the time and it has been the worst week of the year. Some students, not all but enough to make the class miserable, are testing and pushing like they never did before. I must have been coming on too strong, but I thought I was just following the plan. I almost want to go back to being more easygoing – there may have been interruptions, but I didn’t feel like they were personally directed at me. I try to stay calm but I can’t do that either because it feels like the disruptions are just so constant now that it’s totally wearing me down.
Angels have guided me to your articles! I have just had a very rough week…I teach 6th grade Social Studies at the middle school. I missed 2 sick days, we had 2 snow days, and changed trimesters. A few classes were awful for the subs, but were probably no better for me when I returned. I was forceful…Now I need to rebuild relationship… Class sizes are 25-31; some are special ed, some are Title 1, some on meds…60% boys. The students have been rearranged…I need to make some changes…many are different in a different hour with different kids. Two classes are ok, 1 is very good, and 1 is rough, and 1 is extremely rough. I ordered your book…I am formulating a plan…first to change a few seats, & revisit procedures… I would love to end the year on a brighter note…Thanks for the advice!
Hi wbw,
Knowing you need to make a change is the first–and often most important–step to creating the teaching experience you want.
:)Michael
Michael,
Any more suggestions? I have made positive progress with all my 6th grade soc. studies hours but 1….still disruptive, and it seems as if it has continued/worsened to be a most of the class against me issue. There are 25 in the class-3 special ed students-1 who needs closer monitoring, and 5 who are Title 1 students (regular ed students in the lowest 30%). To me the key difference is that there are about 9-10 students in the class that I completely trust, as compared to my other classes, which is at least half of the students in every class. I am the first class after lunch, and yesterday 3-5 playground pebbles were tossed in class. I didn’t know who threw them, but I stopped 1 student with rocks who seemed to be secretly passing them out. Not a good sign. We are on trimesters, have iPads, and have at least 45 more days of school. I pray a lot, do eft tapping, and am pretty intuitive. Please advise.
It’s sounds like you need to start over from the beginning. Here’s an article to help: Losing Control . . .
Michael
Help!
I am kind of in a unique situation currently…So I got a long-term subbing job for the rest of the school year, which is great and it is going great for the most part except for one hour. This hour just hates me. Like really hates me. It’s strange too because I am actually, if anything, maybe too nice. It’s also difficult because they had a long-term sub before me (who had to leave eventually since he was not certified to teach Biology) and he did not have very high expectations in the kids. Normally, the major part of the hour was spent with the kids just talking after they finished their 5-minute worksheet. Even the kids that don’t like me admitted they didn’t have to do anything with the last sub. So anyways, I am coming in and heck yeah I am asking for more than just a flimsy worksheet a day, but is it a terrible amount? No. There’s is a little bit more lecture and I assigned a project and it is going just fine in my other classes. They have adapted, I believe most of them like me, and I enjoy those classes. But my first hour hates me to an extent I never expected. It’s been difficult for me because it is mostly boys in that class (13 boys and 5 girls) and some of the boys are retaking the class or have a lot of issues at home. They are point-blank disrespectful and I don’t know what to do since it is a better portion of the class versus just one or two. There are only two weeks left of school and I am not sure if I should even worry about it with only two weeks left. I haven’t done student teaching yet (I am doing it this fall), and so this really has been crash-course learning for me and it’s surprisingly well in all of my classes except this one. A kids, who is pretty constantly rude to me, said to me today he is only mean and goes out of his way to mess with people he doesn’t like and another kids (I called his mom yesterday to talk about his issues) revolted against doing anything today by just reading a book. Both of these students also told me to my face yesterday that I am a bad teacher for not giving them enough time to do work. Most of these kids are freshmen. I feel pretty broken down.
Hi Kristin,
I’d love to be able to give you a couple of quick soundbites, but you need a comprehensive approach to classroom management. The good news is that you can find everything you’re looking for here. I recommend starting in the Classroom Management Plan category of the archive and going from there.
Michael