Kids don’t misbehave because they don’t want discipline.
They misbehave because they do.
They crave it. They seek it out. They push and probe and increase their misbehavior in order to find your limits.
Firm boundaries tell them that someone cares. It let’s them know that they’re alive and that they matter. They have worth.
This is why inconsistent teachers and those with ill-defined rules struggle so much.
However, there is a catch.
If the discipline is meted out by an authoritarian, it will be met with private resentment and rebellion—especially among your most difficult students.
So what is authoritarianism? As it relates to teaching, it’s a style of classroom management that is marked by an attitude of power and dominance.
Rules are a form of executive order. They come down via royal decree and are not to be questioned. Just followed without complaint.
Students of today despise the feeling of being forced into something.
But there are scores of teachers who confuse the call for good classroom management with having to put on battle dress and broadsword and control their subjects by iron fist.
It’s a miserable way to teach. It’s stressful and exhausting. It creates a you-against-them relationship with students. It makes the job of teaching a hike up Mount Elbrus.
But how do you avoid it? How do you strictly follow your classroom management plan without appearing like a dictator and sparking a mutiny?
You explain to your students why.
Everything you do, from rules and consequences to policies and routines, must have a compelling reason why you’re doing it.
There must be a clear and describable benefit to your students. If there isn’t, if you can’t explain why they have to raise their hand or stay quiet during independent work, for example, then you shouldn’t do it.
Ever, ever, ever.
Every classroom management policy must have a why that students understand. And you must be ready to explain it to them. “Because I said so” doesn’t cut it.
Your students don’t always have to agree, mind you. They just have to know that there is a reason—and what that reason is—that is best for them.
Knowing your whys also safeguards you from parents and administrators who might question your methods. When you say, “The class rules protect every student’s right to learn and enjoy being in my classroom,” it’s nearly impossible to argue against.
Your whys also cause you to think through what you really want for your classroom. They cause you to take ownership and responsibility to provide the best experience for your students.
They, in turn, will appreciate your openness and willingness to be transparent. It helps build all-important rapport and mutual likability and the desire to behave.
It frees you to enforce your consequences without fear while freeing your students to accept, agree with, and understand that the rules and policies of the class are not for you and your selfish needs or perverse enjoyment.
They’re for them and wholly and completely for their benefit.
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The problem is the number of times (I lost count at ten thousand) you have to teach the same kids over and over the same simple rules. The ones they should have learned at home by age 5!!!! If dogs were this slow to learn nobody would own one!
😄🤣 can relate to it!
I feel like that’s a fatal attitude. ‘Should’ thinking means absolutely nothing, in my opinion, and leads to a lot of frustration – especially if you’re saying that to kids – because it’s judgemental, and you really don’t ever know exactly what a kid’s life/background is like when they’re away from you. IMPE, many kids DO need repetition to form those neural pathways. The child who only needs to be told once or twice is the exception.
This was really helpful! I had assigned seats and slowly kids started sitting wherever they wanted, some asked, some didn’t, some had legitimate reasons for moving—their seat mate really was annoying, they had to charge their tablet which we use regularly. I didn’t mind at first but then students started talking incessantly they were playing games on their devices when they sat in the back. One day, a student came in to the class late and the seat had they chosen as theirs was occupied by the person who was actually assigned that seat, not the one late student was assigned. The late student might have asked the person assigned the seat to vacate before this happened but the late student pulled the chair aggressively from underneath the student assigned the seat, demanding that they be given the seat back. The student assigned the seat not putting to embarrassment gave up the seat and went elsewhere. I was speechless and while I did let the student know she lost points, I felt like more needed to be done.
I would create a new seating assignment chart based on your new understanding of legitimate requests to change. They must sit in those seats. If they want to sit in a different seat, they can submit a written request. Then you can adjust your assigned seating the next day/week. This way they can have input but you are the judge. Otherwise it just gets completely out of control in a heartbeat.
Is this a real comment? You had a seating chart, and they moved where they wanted anyway? Then they became aggressive to a student whose seat they took, and you did nothing about it? Gee, I can’t understand where you went wrong.
Shrout Toda, is it really necessary to be sarcastic to Cy in your repsonse? Cy sounds like a teacher who cares about their students, who is learning lessons about consistency. Sure, they should have been more reactive when one of their students got hurt, but you being condescending and sarcastic towards them in this process is not the best way to get that message across.
If we are respectful in our responses, we are much more likely to have our advice heard and received by the person we are giving it to.
This is a teacher problem not a student problem. You were inconsistent with your rules.
Thanks for this article. Some very good food for thought.
I really respect your articles, Michael and have followed you for years. and applied many of your suggestions in my classroom teaching.
What I find I really crave in your articles are real-life examples from experiences with students that you have lived through. Such examples would help me see how you worked through some of the problems encountered in daily classroom teaching at an elementary school level.
That’s a good suggestion, Denise.
That’s a GREAT suggestion!
Thanks for another great article. I teach elementary school and therefore I’m with the same group of students all day. I’ve implemented your classroom management system and it works well, but I’ve ended up creating certain times (when I’m teaching a lesson for example) where students are given consequences for speaking without raising their hand, but there are other times when things are more relaxed. I indicate that it’s “sacred time” (I’d love another idea for what to call it), the time when consequences are enforced, by ringing a bell. It was feeling too rigid to have students not speak to their friends at all, or speak without raising their hand, for the whole entire day. I can see how this would be effective for an hour long class, but for elementary classes, do you recommend enforcing the consequences all day long? Do you have any thoughts about this? Thank you for all you do!
Hello
I had similar doubts about implementing and enforcing rules. I try to be very consistent during work time or independent time. Staying seated, not walking around, raising hand to get up, using quiet voice, conversation should be work related topics. I try to imagine a professional working environment except with kids and a caring adult. The lunch time and before school starts, and at dismissal they can socialize and sit with their friends and arts and crafts or have their free time, but they still can’t walk around. They need to choose a place to sit during that transition
I feel the walking around creates a chaotic energy. They also have 45 min of PE or art class which is their social time too.
As an Art Teacher, we to have standards that we must teach and try and have the students master. Now, while I do allow for some conversation my students are also aware that the talking “socializing” slows them down and they don’t meet the objective for the day. Please understand that the Special Area Classes are not for socializing or restroom breaks. We are teachers! At least in our district
Well said, Diane!
You expressed that much more kindly than I would have. I am obviously very lucky that my colleagues and students’ don’t see Art lessons as social time or I would achieve little of value. Huge thanks go to Michael for giving me the strategies necessary to have Visual Art respected by my school community.
Do the PE and Art teachers also consider their classes as “social times”? As a music teacher, I feel my 25 minutes is as valuable as the rest of my students day, and while we may do some activities that allow for more socializing than others, much of my time is spent actually teaching, not giving the kids a chance to roam around and visit.
What you’re doing sounds great! It feels very in line with this article: https://smartclassroommanagement.com/2018/11/03/allowing-students-to-talk/
“I had assigned seats and slowly kids started sitting wherever they wanted, some asked, some didn’t.” This is where the issue needed to be nipped in the bud. Once you let one ask, then more ask. Once you let one sit wherever without asking, then they all do. They are keenly aware of who is allowed to do what. I would only let someone move because of a valid reason like not being able to see the board or hear directions. Needing the outlet each day could be a reason. That said, I would let the changing of seats always appear to come from a decision that YOU made. I tell my kids I can move kids at will for any reason, but not just because they ask. So if one does ask and it’s valid then change up your seating for NEXT time and make it appear it was your random decision not because a kid asked. They don’t need to know the reasons why (this just gives them a reasons to give you!)
Gosh, I guess that came off as authoritarian but I didn’t mean it to be. The reason I give my kids for seating charts is to so I can remember 425 names and if they move around it messes me up and I forget their names. Also, they know it is for who will work best together, who talks too much if they are together, who needs to sit closer to me and I tell them that the first day of school. So they know why it’s up to me to decide where their assigned seat is. But I’m not going to tell the class I moved so and so because they just won’t be quiet. I don’t want to hurt their feelings. That’s what I mean about not telling exactly why you are moving a particular child. If they can’t see well, suddenly no one can see and needs to move.
(I teach high school.) I use seating charts starting the first day to begin learning names as well. Once I have identified students who need to sit towards the front or in specified parts of the room (such as they have an IEP or 504 plan, or they are an EL student), then I can adjust the seating chart as necessary.
I agree 100% with this methodology. I run into the problem as a collaborative sped teacher having my co-teacher follow through with the rules she was reluctant to talk about at the start of the school year. She used a preprinted set of rules from a poster she displays even though we discussed creating our own, they’re for show only. I feel I’m the rule enforcer, she typically steps in when she is alone and they’ve gone too far. Then makes comments about how unruly they are. It’s very frustrating at times.
I agree, Michael, that it’s unquestionably important to tell students the “why’s” for our rules. (And the scary picture at the top of the article sure is accurate!)
I’d just like to point out that it’s unfortunately still possible to do this in an off-putting authoritarian manner! Sad to say, I’ve made this mistake. I’ve since corrected it by remembering to infuse my explanation of the “why’s” with LOVE, which is something I know you have often emphasized in other articles. I think it’s important to restate it here, because at one point I failed to realize I was explaining the reasons for my rules out of frustration and resentment rather than caring and good faith that they would want to do these things so we could all have a great day. I said the right words, but I didn’t have the right attitude, and they knew it.
With this one essential course correction, when students sense that you really care, the defiance simply drains out of many of them. (I just had that happen recently with a Kindergarten boy who adamantly refused to do something and didn’t care about the consequences, until I told him how sad I would be for him to be in timeout and how much we would all miss having him in the group–he obeyed right after that.)
It takes courage and humility, though, to teach with love and not just efficiency, but as you say, the result is that we’re no longer miserable and stressed.
great comment!
At this time of the school year I am ready to put up rules to make the classroom more consistent. The article was good to help me put some rules together and have some arguments to justify them. Some students are going through an emotional problem and they might lose control of their behavior. Some are just telling teachers that they don’t have to do what teachers tell them. I agree with the article that some are trying to locate or test the limit of teacher patience and tolerance. At a middle school where I started, they had a timeout room for students who were a disruption. They could calm down and not repeat the disruption, but some were just endless in their bad behavior. I liked the timeout room method. I am thinking about setting up the “Yellow Card” and “Red Card” concept to use in my room. I might bring up the timeout room to my admin group as well.
The Time Out room sounds like it could easily be misused by the teacher, especially if they’re having a bad day.
Plus, perhaps some students may actually misbehave in order to get out of being in class?
I’m not sure why I read this article. I am retired after 42 years in the classroom. Having read it, however, I could not agree more. If I were to be asked to write a piece on classroom management, I would simply refer the person to this article.
If I were to edit this article at all, I would change the term “mutual likability” to “mutual respect.” Both are valuable, but I would much rather be respected than liked by my students.
I would like to draw a distinction between being an authoritarian (or autocratic) teacher and an authoritative one.
Authoritarian teachers want compliance.
Authoritative teachers are warm, firm, and consistent.
I like to think that SCM suggests we should be authoritative in our approach.
Thank you for these wonderful reminders, Michael!
I guess a blend of everything is necessary. There are times agreeing with students on different issues makes more sense and times when the authority from the teacher saves situations.
It’s interesting; I work in recreational setting – afterschool playcamp, but in a classroom type situation. We are taught that it’s best to start out strict and gradually soften up, but never the other way around. Trying to establish discipline and order is so much more difficult if you start out lax and too lenient. I see it happening again and again in novice, inexperienced group leaders, and the results are lots of misbehavior and chaos.
That said, I do agree wholeheartedly with rejecting an authoritarian attitude of ‘do it my way because I said so’. You may get compliance on the surface/in the moment, but you won’t build trust and respect. Explaining in an age appropriate manner why we need to have certain rules is modeling courtesy and respectfulness, IMO.
I believe answering “why” is something that should be done from time to time, but not always. Sometimes the “why” is just a distract. Therefore, I believe the “why” should be answered privately – “See me after class, and I”ll be happy to discuss it.” (Most won’t want to talk about it badly enough to stay after class.)
However, I also believe sometimes it’s okay to say, “You know what, the best answer I can give you is that with my years of experience, this policy helps things run more smoothly in my classrooms. If you’d like to discuss it more, I’d be happy to talk to you about it after class.”