Let’s begin this weeks article by looking at a common scenario.
You’re leading your students to class after visiting the library one day, and you notice Andrew kicking the heels of the student in front of him.
He is clearly doing it on purpose.
You stop the line, walk over to Andrew, and say, “Andrew, please stop kicking Karla.”
Andrew replies, “I wasn’t kicking anyone.”
“Yes, you were. I saw you.”
“I wasn’t doing anything. I was just walking.”
You are now officially in an argument.
And you don’t want to give in and lose the argument because, you think, it will encourage more bad behavior from Andrew, as well as from the rest of the class.
So you become determined to prove Andrew wrong and make him admit that he was indeed kicking Karla.
You go back and forth for several minutes until he takes responsibility for his behavior and apologizes to Karla.
But while you’re battling it out with Andrew, your students are waiting and growing bored, your upcoming lesson is on hold, and the smooth momentum of your day is lost.
If you feel like you have to prove to misbehaving students that (a) they did what you saw them do or (b) that their behavior was wrong, you’re going to find yourself in these situations a lot.
Why You Should Never Argue With Students
Here are the biggest reasons why you should never argue with students:
- It’s stressful.
- It can make you lose your cool.
- It can cause you to behave in a manner you’ll regret.
- It wastes time.
- It creates friction between you and your students.
- It weakens your relationship with students.
- It makes you less likable.
- It encourages students to challenge your authority.
Some students will try to goad you into an argument because it puts you on the same level. In other words, it becomes just two people disagreeing.
But is it really just two people disagreeing?
Of course not. You know Andrew is guilty and he knows he is guilty. So what is there to argue about?
How To Avoid Arguments With Students
I’ve had teachers tell me that you can’t avoid arguments with students altogether unless you’re willing to give in or let some things go. Based on how often I see teachers arguing with students, I think this is a common belief.
But with the right strategy, avoiding arguments with students isn’t difficult. It can even be a means of strengthening your classroom management effectiveness.
Here are the five steps to avoiding arguments with students.
1. Follow Your Classroom Management Plan – Arguments begin when the teacher asks a student to stop doing something rather than enforcing a consequence. Your classroom rules should cover every possible misbehavior. So when a student breaks a rule, simply follow your plan.
2. Give A Warning – Your classroom management plan should include a warning for the first offense. For example, when you see Andrew kicking the heels of the girl in front of him, make eye contact and say, “Andrew, you have a warning because you’re not keeping your hands and feet to yourself.”
3. Move On – After giving a warning, or a time-out if it’s a second offense, turn away from the student immediately and continue with whatever you were doing. Don’t give your students an opportunity to argue or explain their behavior. There is no need.
4. Pause/Repeat – If you find yourself in a situation where a student is determined to stand in front of you to plead his or her case, maintain eye contact, pause several seconds, and then repeat, “You have a warning because you are not keeping your hands to yourself.”
5. Enforce A Consequence For Arguing – If the student continues to argue, enforce the second consequence. “Andrew, you’re being disrespectful to me, which breaks rule number three. I’ll walk you to time-out.”
Following these steps will garner respect from students and dissuade them from attempting to goad you into any more arguments.
And the best part is you’ll never again have to prove to your students what you—and they—already know to be the truth.
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Similar Posts:
- Why You Shouldn’t Care If Your Students Misbehave
- Should Your First Consequence Be A Warning?
- How To Give A Warning That Improves Behavior
- How To Simplify Classroom Management
- Stop Lecturing Students And Lower Your Stress
{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
Great article! I needed to read this. I get pulled into arguments way too often with my students. I know these steps are going to make next week go much smoother. Thanks a million!
Thank you so much. I really needed a clear reminder of how to handle thi situation. I have been really stressed lately and this will be a huge step on the path to less stress and more learning in my classroom.