As a third consequence of your classroom management plan, I recommend a letter home to parents.
But probably not for the reasons you may think.
I can’t emphasize enough that consequences for misbehavior are only a small part of classroom management.
By themselves, they cannot deter students from misbehaving. No set of consequences is strong enough on its own.
It’s all the other stuff—what this site is about—that makes for foolproof classroom management.
As Effective As Possible
The three consequences I recommend—a warning, a time-out, and a letter home—when delivered in a certain way, make them as effective as consequences can be.
When combined with the right classroom management strategies, techniques, and procedures, you can create the class you really want—no matter who is on your roster or where you teach.
How To Send A Letter Home
Sending a letter home can be remarkably effective when done the right way.
Here’s how:
1. Use a form letter.
A form letter—official looking and impersonal—strikes the right tone in communicating the seriousness of breaking rules and interrupting learning.
Click the link below to download a sample letter. Please take a look at it before reading the rest of the article. Also, feel free to use the letter or change it in any way you wish.
2. Hand it to the student immediately.
As soon as a student breaks a rule for the third time in one day, fill out the letter and hand it to him or her immediately and in full view of the class.
Following through publicly reinforces the message that you always do exactly what you say.
3. Keep the student separated.
Keep the student separated from his or her classmates and in time-out the next day whether the letter is returned with a signature or not.
Students need a full day to feel the weight of their poor choices and understand that if rules aren’t followed, they’re not welcome members of the class.
4. Get the letter back.
If you don’t get the letter back the next day, chances are you’re being tested. Stick to your guns. Once you prove that you always follow through, you won’t be tested again.
Keep the offending student in extended time-out until the letter is returned.
5. No surprises for parents.
Your classroom management plan and a sample of the letter should be included in the parent information packet you send home to be reviewed and signed during the first week of school.
Therefore, exactly what the letter means and what happens if it isn’t returned shouldn’t be a surprise to parents.
6. No surprises for students.
Because you’ve taught your classroom management plan thoroughly, your students, too, shouldn’t be surprised when handed a letter. They should know the process of receiving consequences backwards and forwards.
Why A Letter Home
There are three reasons why you should send a letter home as a third consequence. None of which has anything to do with parents providing punishment or further consequence.
1. Parents have a right to know.
If a child breaks your classroom rules three times in one day, the parents have a right to know.
One of the most common complaints parents have is that they’re not adequately informed of problems and concerns. A third-consequence letter ensures that they are.
2. A letter has impact.
Teachers tend to sugarcoat behavior when talking to parents. It’s in our nature to hedge bad news with a child’s positive attributes. But this takes the focus off the hard facts: The student broke class rules and interfered with learning.
A business-like form letter lays bare these facts. It also places the responsibility to inform parents on the child—where it should be.
3. It forces full-scale accountability.
A letter home forces students to be accountable to those affected by their misbehavior.
They’re accountable to you because they must get the letter signed and returned to you—honoring and respecting your authority.
They’re accountable to their classmates because until the letter is returned, they’re not active members of the class and therefore cannot be counted on to contribute.
Finally, they’re accountable to their parents—however that plays out. What the parents do with the information contained in the letter is up to them. It’s not your issue or concern.
The effectiveness of the consequence isn’t reliant on a particular response from parents.
Remarkably Effective
I think you’ll find the letter-home consequence to be remarkably effective—as effective as consequences can be.
But like so much of classroom management, the power is in the how. Therefore, if there is anything I didn’t make perfectly clear and you have questions, please email me.
I’m happy to help.
If you like this article, please share it with your friends and colleagues.
Also, if you’re not yet a member of this site, I urge you to join us. It’s easy—and free! Click here and enter your email address, and each week a new article will appear in your email box.
Related posts:
{ 31 comments… read them below or add one }
Next Comments →
Now it makes sense. Thanks for clearing up the misunderstanding.
I’m an art teacher, and only see my students once a week at best. If I send a letter home, should I expect it back the next day (even though I won’t see that child’s class), or expect it back the next day they have art?
Also, if they DON’T return the letter, how many weeks should I continue to drag it out? Is it okay to give them a second letter home, incase they lost the first (or maybe the parents lost the first). I certainly want my students to live up to my consequences, but it’s a little harder when I don’t see them all day, every day. I also don’t know how my principal would feel if I kept a kid out of art for a month, just because he/she isn’t bring a letter back. They do need to earn the right to rejoin the class…but what if they really just hate art, and would rather sit alone for 40 minutes once a week then actually rejoin, anyway?
Thanks for your advice!!
Beth Weinandy
Hi Beth,
Yes, you should expect the offending student to deliver the letter to you the next day. And yes, if the student doesn’t have the letter the next day, hand him or her another one–then turn and walk away. However, rather than missing an entire art class period, he or she should spend each recess with you (i.e., sitting close to you while you teach your class) until the letter is returned.
You’ll have to arrange this with the classroom teacher, but it is absolutely worth it–many, many benefits in terms of the offending student and his or her future behavior, and the students who witness you holding him or her accountable. Also, It’s always a good idea to provide your principal with a copy of your classroom management plan (and parent info packet) at the start of the school year.
Michael
I’m just wondering if you give students a “fresh start” during the day (i.e., after recess and lunch), especially for young children (grade 1)?
Hi Allison,
It’s a good idea for k-1 in the beginning of the year, when students are still learning your behavior expectations. After three or four weeks, though, first graders should be expected to follow your rules–and you should follow your plan all day.
Michael
Thank you for all the wonderful advice both in the book, Dream Class, and in these articles. I was wondering what your policy is for returning homework. I have many students that forget to do or return their homework. In the past I have had students miss their morning recess to complete the homework so they are ready to participate in the correcting/discussing. Unfortunately the same students continue to have homework missing. Do you have another idea?
Thank you,
Hi Victoria,
I’ve found that the culture of the classroom is a strong determiner homework return. If it becomes normal and expected to get homework in on time every day, not just from you but from your students as well, then the slackers get on board. There are several ways to do this, but the most important is that you walk around the room and check every morning–publicly–while your students work on something else. This doesn’t take long, but done a certain way, it’s effective and worth the few minutes.
There is nothing wrong with the pressure of having to wait for the teacher to come around to ask where the homework is in front of one’s peers. It’s not about humiliation, but it’s a level of expectation bordering on outright surprise that homework isn’t completed that motivates students to never want to come to school unprepared. Missing recess because of homework isn’t effective on its own. There has to be some greater motivation. You’ll find it by creating a culture of excellence that ultimately, deep down inside, every student wants to be a part of. Homework is a bit off the behavior focus of this website, but I plan on writing about it in the future. I hope you’ll stay tuned.
Michael
I teach in a low-income high school where it’s difficult to get students to submit signed permission slips because parents are so often not involved in their child’s life, and I can’t imagine having much more success with the letter home for behavior. Also, I know that many students would simply forge a signature. Help?
Hi Page,
Yes, high school can be a different animal altogether, especially in a low-income neighborhood. However, we need to hold parents accountable as well. No excuses. Send the letter home, follow with a phone call, send another one home the next day, follow with a phone call, and keep it up. Don’t give in. Letting parents know what is going on at school–however difficult this may be–is part of your job.
You have to take a stand. Decide that this is your classroom and this is just the way it’s going to be. Whether they want it or not, you’re going to make parents acknowledge, one way or another, that their child isn’t making it–isn’t doing what needs to be done to graduate. Don’t give up. Decide that you’re going to do your part, that you’re not going to just let it go. You’re not going to just let the student fail and fall through the cracks without having a say in the matter.
If it takes you weeks, don’t give up. Hanging in there and not giving in until you get the letter back makes a statement to the parents and their child that you’re not going to give up on them, that you care enough about this student that you’re going to see it through. Maybe you’re the first to make such a statement. Maybe it will be the one thing that turns this troubled student around.
It can and does happen.
Michael
I am worried that giving a student an in class time-out will draw attention to that student which can be disruptive and a negative motivator for the student in time-out. I teach middle school music so would I put the student in a different area of the room for their time-out and still allow them to play their instrument?
Hi Amanda,
Learning to play a musical instrument is fun and is a privilege. It’s an important that you make sure your students feel that way. If they don’t, no consequence is going to work well for you. However, as long as your students are happy to be part of your class, than an in-class time-out will be effective and not a negative motivator. Oh, and I would not allow anyone in time-out to play an instrument.
Michael
Hi Michael,
If the letter home is the third consequence, and the warning is the first, what is the second?
Thanks
Hi Casey,
Please see the article A Classroom Management Plan That Works.
Michael
Hi, Michael. Love your book and website. A clarification on the third strike, I guess, or the letter to parents and extended time-out. So, the child is in extended time-out, removed from his classmates for the remainder of the day but still expected to follow lessons and do the work that others do. But what if there’s any further poor choices? I mean, if a child has had a warning, a time-out, and then an extended time-out with a letter, it’s not crazy that he’ll continue to make some poor choices (not doing the work of the class, talking while in time-out, etc.). I’m just wondering what’s next.
Thanks,
Shawn
Hi Shawn,
While in extended time-out, there shouldn’t be anyone to talk to. Further, the whole idea of time-out is that they miss being part of the class. So it’s important that you create an environment that all students want to be part of–this is where leverage comes in. It’s critical. Time-out won’t work unless the student would much rather be a regular member of the class. They’ll be motivated to do the work and convince you they’re ready to be part of the class again only if it pains them to be separated from their classmates. For more on this, read the articles in the time-out category.
Michael
Hello,
I’m curious to know how to do time-outs in high school classes. I teach high school Spanish and I feel like some of the students who have behavior issues want to be sent out of the class. Are the time-outs you suggest for elementary only or can they work in secondary?
Hi Jamie,
I write primarily for k-8 teachers. However, many of the strategies on the website can be modified for older students. I recommend high school students be placed in an in-class time-out, clearly separated from classmates and regular participation. I wouldn’t call it time-out, though. I would simply say that, because of poor behavior, they can’t be part of the class–other than completing all required work–until the following day.
Michael
Hi, Michael,
Love your articles. I am a middle school teacher. My problem is I am not consistent in giving consequences and forget. Any tips on being consistent.
Hi Sariya,
Following your classroom management plan is a daily, even moment-to-moment, decision. You have to decide that you’re going to follow your plan no matter how inconvenient it may seem at the time. Knowing that it’s always best for you and your students, and it’s never a mistake doing so, makes it an easy decision to make.
Michael
Hi,
I agree that consistency is key in management. We have a new principal this year and it has been mandated that we are not allowed to take recess away from any student, we are not to isolate a student either. I rarely send students to the office except for extreme behaviors such as fighting, or doing something that would endanger someone. Which I guess is a good thing because we are discouraged from sending kids there.I like the idea of a letter but I can see certain students that would get a letter and tear it up in front of the class and get very defiant about it. Most likely I would call the parent as I have few other consequences left to choose from. Any suggestions?
Next Comments →
{ 1 trackback }