As a third consequence of your classroom management plan, I recommend a letter home to parents.
But probably not for the reasons you may think.
I can’t emphasize enough that consequences for misbehavior are only a small part of classroom management.
By themselves, they cannot deter students from misbehaving. No set of consequences is strong enough on its own.
It’s all the other stuff—what this site is about—that makes for foolproof classroom management.
As Effective As Possible
The three consequences I recommend—a warning, a time-out, and a letter home—when delivered in a certain way, make them as effective as consequences can be.
When combined with the right classroom management strategies, techniques, and procedures, you can create the class you really want—no matter who is on your roster or where you teach.
How To Send A Letter Home
Sending a letter home can be remarkably effective when done the right way.
Here’s how:
1. Use a form letter.
A form letter—official looking and impersonal—strikes the right tone in communicating the seriousness of breaking rules and interrupting learning.
Click the link below to download a sample letter. Please take a look at it before reading the rest of the article. Also, feel free to use the letter or change it in any way you wish.
2. Hand it to the student immediately.
As soon as a student breaks a rule for the third time in one day, fill out the letter and hand it to him or her immediately and in full view of the class.
Following through publicly reinforces the message that you always do exactly what you say.
3. Keep the student separated.
Keep the student separated from his or her classmates and in time-out the next day whether the letter is returned with a signature or not.
Students need a full day to feel the weight of their poor choices and understand that if rules aren’t followed, they’re not welcome members of the class.
4. Get the letter back.
If you don’t get the letter back the next day, chances are you’re being tested. Stick to your guns. Once you prove that you always follow through, you won’t be tested again.
Keep the offending student in extended time-out until the letter is returned.
5. No surprises for parents.
Your classroom management plan and a sample of the letter should be included in the parent information packet you send home to be reviewed and signed during the first week of school.
Therefore, exactly what the letter means and what happens if it isn’t returned shouldn’t be a surprise to parents.
6. No surprises for students.
Because you’ve taught your classroom management plan thoroughly, your students, too, shouldn’t be surprised when handed a letter. They should know the process of receiving consequences backwards and forwards.
Why A Letter Home
There are three reasons why you should send a letter home as a third consequence. None of which has anything to do with parents providing punishment or further consequence.
1. Parents have a right to know.
If a child breaks your classroom rules three times in one day, the parents have a right to know.
One of the most common complaints parents have is that they’re not adequately informed of problems and concerns. A third-consequence letter ensures that they are.
2. A letter has impact.
Teachers tend to sugarcoat behavior when talking to parents. It’s in our nature to hedge bad news with a child’s positive attributes. But this takes the focus off the hard facts: The student broke class rules and interfered with learning.
A business-like form letter lays bare these facts. It also places the responsibility to inform parents on the child—where it should be.
3. It forces full-scale accountability.
A letter home forces students to be accountable to those affected by their misbehavior.
They’re accountable to you because they must get the letter signed and returned to you—honoring and respecting your authority.
They’re accountable to their classmates because until the letter is returned, they’re not active members of the class and therefore cannot be counted on to contribute.
Finally, they’re accountable to their parents—however that plays out. What the parents do with the information contained in the letter is up to them. It’s not your issue or concern.
The effectiveness of the consequence isn’t reliant on a particular response from parents.
Remarkably Effective
I think you’ll find the letter-home consequence to be remarkably effective—as effective as consequences can be.
But like so much of classroom management, the power is in the how. Therefore, if there is anything I didn’t make perfectly clear and you have questions, please email me.
I’m happy to help.
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{ 36 comments… read them below or add one }
Hi Dale,
I think your most powerful consequence is not allowing a student to participate in a desirable activity like a regular member of the classroom. Although physical separation makes a symbolic statement, the strength of the consequence isn’t dependent on it. The limits you have underscore the importance of building rapport, improving your likeability, bringing fun, humor, and high interest into the classroom, and creating an environment your students want to be part of. This will give you leverage and add teeth to your “no participation” consequence.
Michael
Michael,
I read your book in one sitting. It was amazing!
I am wondering about students with frequent problems. Say you give a warning, a time out, and a letter for one behavior in the morning- for example, calling out. Then, they are out of their seat several times and need a warning, a time out and another letter. If the behavior continues throughout a day, what happens? Do they take a letter home with more than one box checked? A written explanation? Or several letters?
I have students who need reminders for things like this all day long. (Clearly I am in need of a management make-over!)
Thanks,
Jessica
Hi Jessica,
I’m glad you like the book! To manage students with frequent behavior problems, read the article series How To Turn Around Difficult Students. If it doesn’t answer all of your questions, email me. I’m happy to help.
Hi Michael,
Thanks a lot for your advice. I have a problem with the Letter Home consequence, the school didn’t allow me to send it. I refuted, asked to talk over it with the principal, but my coordinator said there is no way… even when I explained the procedure in advance. I had the idea of showing kids the sample and they should explain their parents they’ll be in time-out and how it works.
Hi Erika,
Strange. But if your school doesn’t allow it, then you can’t use it. For your third consequence simply call home.
Michael
Hi Michael,
I’ve spent alot of time on your website and read the book twice, trying to start over again after 25 years of stressful classroom mismanagement. It doesn’t seem to be working for me. I calmly wait for a class to settle down, and as the minutes tick by, the well-behaved students get more and more frustrated that their class time is wasted. I have given warnings, isolated students, and made phone calls home *all in the same class period* because the misbehavior escalated so severely. I teach music and see my students once a week for 40 minutes. We are not allowed to refer students to the office unless they commit a “Level 3″ violation which includes things like fighting, drug use, other “hard core” disciplinary infractions. I just need them to stop talking and pay attention. What am I doing wrong? I really had hopes for this approach
Hi Denise,
Given that you only see your students once per week for 40 minutes, (in many ways) you’re at the mercy of the classroom teacher(s) and his or her classroom management style. This doesn’t mean you can’t overcome the many hours your students spend in other classrooms. It just means that you have to be that much better. The first place you should look is your leverage. Do your students enjoy coming to your classroom? When you’re an art, music, or PE specialist this is especially paramount. If your students don’t look forward to seeing you once a week, if they don’t love your class, then you’re going to struggle, regardless of how faithful you are to your CM plan. Smart Classroom Management is a two-pronged approach–strict adherence to the rules of your classroom AND creating leverage.
Michael
Can you explain leverage and how to create it? Have I missed that somewhere in all the reading? Sorry.
Hi Denise,
Here you go: Why You Need Leverage For Classroom management…And How To Get It.
Michael
What about if the student forges the parent’s signature? Doesn’t that undermine the consequence? Won’t the student feel like they got off easy?
Hi Tim,
Yes, if a student forges a signature it indeed undermines the consequence and the student will likely feel that they got one over on you. Therefore, you have to make sure that doesn’t happen. You have to be sure the signature is authentic. If you have any suspicion that it isn’t, then you must call and verify.
Michael
Hi, I’m a second year teacher, teaching K-5 music. I see each of my students every fourth day. I’ve started using your classroom management ideas just a couple of weeks into the second semester. I’d noticed that even students who are normally on task were interrupting me without a second thought, so I knew it was time to rethink my discipline strategy. I found your website and adopted your plan.
So far, things have been going fairly well. However, in the process of enforcing rules consistently, I’ve sent several letters home already. I’m using the example you provided in this article. Yesterday I sent one home with a student who is normally very focused. I believe that he was used to how things were before – that I did nothing about interrupting – and weren’t expecting me to enforce three consequences that easily. Today I got the letter back with a note from his mom that she thought the time-out during the next class sounded a bit harsh, and could we please TALK? (I understand the caps to mean she was annoyed that my letter didn’t offer an invitation to work together on the child’s behavior. I get that idea from another parent who complained about the “aggressive” tone of my letter home and the lack of an invitation to work together.) I’m thinking that since this system is new and I was not able to send it home in an information packet, the surprise is part of the problem for the parents. What would you recommend?
I’m also curious about what you will say about this part. I have good rapport with my students and their parents, and they enjoy my class. I believe that the focused students are enjoying it even more now that they are not being interrupted. But I did introduce this system and enforce it very strictly after a year and a half of a more relaxed approach. I believe that my students have found the new atmosphere stifling compared to what they’re used to. As a few weeks have gone by, and we get back to having fun with instruments and games, I’ve noticed that the atmosphere lightened up again a bit. But I’m still worried that being strict about enforcing rules consistently will lead students to find my class less enjoyable, or lead parents to think I am being unkind to their children, which will reduce rapport. What are your thoughts?
Finally, what about students who might have abusive parents? I don’t want a letter home to lead to any physical or verbal abuse. If it did, I believe it would also undermine a student’s view of me, even if the parent’s actions are not my fault, because it would all be set off by one of my consequences.
Hi Ben,
Art, music, and PE are different animals altogether. Although you can and should utilize a letter home, it definitely needs to be modified. Because you don’t have the same students all day, rapport is difficult, as is navigating the many varied habits and expectations each class learns from their classroom teacher. Thus, for you, you should only send letters home for major behavior problems or repeated problems. You do have some advantages, however. Music is, or should be, inherently fun–making time-out particularly effective. I recommend two warnings before a time-out and a letter home only after continued (weekly) disruptions to your teaching. Also, you must, must, must read this article.
If you have further questions, email me. I’m happy to help!
Michael
4th graders can be a pain to handle. Can you imagine a child’s disrespect like “YOU SHUT UP?” I think a time-out for 9 minutes should be used in a naughty corner. Then they get a letter home.
I work in an extremely low-income, urban elementary school. Like another poster, I have lots of problems getting things signed and/or returned. In addition, I am required to give a daily recorded conduct grade. How can I merge this with my plan as you outline it? Also, I have some parents who change their cell phone numbers more often than some people change underwear, so I often do not have correct contact numbers for them, and they VERY RARELY return anything signed. Some I will only see on Field Day. Any suggestions? Oh, and I teach 1st.
Hi Patti,
In order to do them justice, your questions need a more detailed response than I can provide here. However, I’ll be writing about how to get behavior letters back from parents in the future, and I’ll keep your questions in mind. Stay tuned!
Michael
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