I’m often asked what if anything has changed during my 27 years of teaching.
There are a few things, for sure.
The students are considerably less independent to begin the school year.
Parents are far more protective.
And we teachers don’t have as much say in deciding what to teach and when.
But as it applies to the day-to-day practice of effective classroom management, not much is different.
Kids are kids.
They’re still profoundly influenced by being part of a class they look forward to and, done right, a simple warning can be a powerful consequence.
But there is one big change.
It’s a change I’ve only recently noticed, within the past couple of years. It’s a good change, however, one that if you take advantage of, can make your classroom management stronger.
It is this: Students today are more appreciative, more influenced, and more affected by teachers who are consistently kind and pleasant.
Although we’ve been preaching this principle this here at SCM from the beginning, it’s become more important now than ever before.
Simple, day-after-day kindness is the one sure way to gain leverage and influence with any group of students, no matter how challenging.
Nowadays, the wee littlest things, the briefest smiles, acknowledgments, niceties, and connections mean so much to them.
There is, however, a flip side: Today’s students are savvy and worldly and have a deep conviction that negative methods of classroom management are not okay with them.
Although threats and intimidation may still be able to keep a lid on an otherwise out-of-control class, the cost is exorbitantly high and getting higher by the day.
Because it causes students to back away, disengage, and dislike being part of your class. It destroys their motivation and encourages them to misbehave behind your back, sabotage your lessons, or quietly tune you out.
Teachers are struggling with classroom management more now than in decades past, and hanging on to outdated methods—or thoughtlessly falling into them—is a big reason.
The hard truth is that there is no longer a place for lecturing, scolding, glaring, and the like in an effective teacher’s toolkit. Even when combined with long blocks of kindness, they’ll undermine everything you do.
So many teachers are flailing in the dark, trying out this strategy and that one, never realizing that the reason they struggle with classroom management is that their students privately dislike them.
The good news is that kids are incredibly forgiving—and forgetful. So if you’ve been less than consistently pleasant, it doesn’t take long to turn it around, no matter how bad things have gotten.
But you must decide that enough is enough and never again engage in any method that causes animosity.
Instead, if a student disrupts your class or interferes with learning, then allow your classroom management plan to do the dirty work for you. Lean on it exclusively to hold them accountable, while you stroll peacefully along the high road.
Shift your attitude away from battling and outwitting students, as if they’re the enemy, and begin enjoying your class.
You don’t have to do anything special.
You don’t have to be in a great mood every day or have sunshine radiating out of your ears. Just smile. Say hello. Look your students in the eye. Be kind. Be gentle.
Embrace common courtesy and politeness—nothing more—and everything will begin to change. Your influence, your relationships, your joy and peace, the entire tone and tenor of your classroom . . .
Will never be the same again.
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I am from the Czech Republic, pretty far away from the US physically, but a few clicks away on the Internet. It is incredible how similar the situation is in our country with kids, parents and atmosphere in Czech schools. As Michael claims, my students appreciate any kind of positive, kind input much more than I ever realized. And on the contrary, they can get upset very easily whenever I scold them. Smiling, positive attitude is definitely the right direction – of course, without giving up the teacher’s control.
Hi, Roman! I am an instructional coach in California and my son is studying abroad at your fine Czech University of Life Sciences. Kindness matters no matter where we are, right?! I can’t wait to sprinkle kindness when we come to visit over Spring Break. Keep smiling!
Super helpful to me this was.
Glad to hear it, Lisa.
Yes, yes, yes! At the forefront of my mind is treating my students the way I would like to be treated. I wouldn’t respond to being lectured, threatened or yelled at, so why would my students?
When I think of the best principals and year level facilitators I’ve known, they share the same qualities. An ability to make people feel like they’re being heard yet also an ability to keep things moving along quickly; a passion and an energy for their job that shines through their every word; a pleasant, friendly manner but a quiet authority, born of their high expectations and seeing that these are met. All the hallmarks of great teaching.
This is in great contrast to my current assistant principal, whose default mode is criticism, lecturing and talking to adults as though they are naughty little children. This is clearly a hangover from the old methods of the past – she has been in the job almost 40 years – but boy, does it get people off side.
Children are people. Treat them the way you would like to be treated.
I appreciate your article. However, it doesn’t really answer the question the title asks- How are kids different today? Kids ARE VERY different today, then say even 10 years ago. We are living in a very different time where technology is far more advanced. Kids don’t have to wait very long for things or be bored. They can watch things with no commercials and even pick whatever they want to watch with a click of the remote. These are all things that make kids different today. Yes kids are kids but these advances make teaching kids today more challenging.
Hi Maritza,
I’m assuming that readers understand that this is a blog about classroom management. The title was already long enough without putting this in the title. (How Students are Different Today As It Relates To Classroom Management And What It Means For You.) I further tried to make this clear in the opening paragraphs.
Going in to spring and the state testing window, I need that reminder to amp up on patience and kindness. Thanks.
You’re welcome, Bridget.
Thanks, Michael! I appreciate the reminder as I head into Monday. I’ve been teaching for 36 years and do try to be patient, kind and loving to my 250 students each day. It’s a challenge but I appreciate the weekly newsletter as a great reminder. The biggest change I’ve seen in my career is the number of elementary children who have serious mental health issues. Trauma, depression, anxiety are on the increase. Even more reason to be loving, compassionate and kind!
Very true, Nancy. Thanks for sharing.
As a brand new teacher, I’m terrible at classroom management writ large. That said, where I am good is in making relationships, and being kind. It’s the only reason my classes are going as well as they are, because you can make up for a LOT of other failings if the kids know that you truly care about them as people, and will treat them with respect.
Thanks for the article. This is the first one of SCM’s I’ve read and thought “Hey, I’m doing good with this one!”
Way to go, Cory!
Hello everyone, it is a pleasure to read every comment from you, because I realize that our key in management classroom is being kind with students. I have three years of teaching experience and it is true, we can not be rude with them. Thus, students should enjoy to come to school and not to see it as a problem.
Human connection. We need to think of “students” as miniature people. Personally, I think we place too much emphasis on classroom management and management systems at the sacrifice of teaching and learning. Connect and teach right and a lot of behavioral issues subside.
Kids are different today. They are more knowledge mature but less so emotionally. They dealing with much more complex issues than a generation ago. We adults are not keeping up. We are also fond of trying to explain behavior rather than influence or change it.
My philosophy embraces “shared classoom management” which may be more art than science, but it fits nicely with human connection. However, and it’s a big however, that doesn’t mean giving up authority (and fostering respect for it. It really all fits. Authority and consequences create predictabllity. That gives little people confidence in (and they understand the need for) their leader.
Not so complex, but not so easy.
Hi Michael,
I’m in my third year of teaching and I have this tough ninth grade classroom, they resist being taught and are stressed out due to being flooded by lessons.
But what to do when a student, complaining about unfairness of the teacher, leaves the classroom without permission. Thanks.
Hi Joel,
This is a big, big question that I’d need to know a lot more about before offering advice. You may want to consider personal coaching.
I really enjoy your articles and even after teaching for 29 years, I always learn something.
I have even shared your website w/ 2 others who struggle w/ classroom management like I use to before reading you, but they have not taken my advice, oh well, so I say no more. No nagging here.lol. I agree that kids have changed and so has parenting and society in general.
Sincere kindness and a smile really are the difference! Teach the way we want to be taught always works for me when I slow down and think it through. Thanks for ALL your support!
You are the only professional development that makes sense to me, the stuff we attend is a waste, for the most part. Lol.
Thanks Carol! I appreciate your comments. I’m glad to know you’re a regular reader. 🙂
Any advice for substitutes, for whom any show of kindness marks us as targets for being duped? I come out most days (high school) feeling a little disappointed in how the kids behave and deliberately try and take advantage of subs. I’m usually at the same school, so I know the procedures, rules, etc., but it’s a big school, so I only sometimes have kids I’ve had in other classes. The ones who remember me seem actually kind of excited to have me back so I’m thinking I must be doing something right. The ones who haven’t had me before seem compelled to pull out all their best attempts to take advantage of their regular teacher not being there. I have a provisional teaching license, but honestly, if I have to deal with kids trying to “punk” me at every turn, forget it.
Hi Karen,
This is a topic I hope to address in a future e-guide. Please stay tuned.
What about students who use drugs and/or have severe trauma? You can be as nice as you can be, but if they do not have the right mindset, watch out!