19 Myths Of Managing Difficult Students

Smart Classroom Management: 19 Myths Of Managing Difficult StudentsThere is a mountain of misinformation about how to manage difficult students.

It’s on a never-ending loop.

Cycling through every school. Wafting down every hallway.

And passing from teacher to teacher.

At best, it’s confusing, contradictory, and difficult to apply consistently.

It also does little to actually change behavior.

Because, you see, most advice on how to deal with difficult students fails to address the root cause.

Instead, it’s a band-aid that may mollify behavior in the moment—which is why teachers continue to use it—but is ultimately ineffective.

Much of it is also bad for students and their academic and emotional development.

To set the record straight, and help you recognize harmful strategies when you see them, here are nineteen common myths about managing difficult students.

1. You need to convince them to behave.

2. You need to give them more attention.

3. You need to give them choices.

4. You need to pull them aside for pep-talks.

5. You need to “catch them doing good.”

6. You need to put limits on them.

7. You need to pick your battles with them.

8. You need to get tough with them.

9. You need to ignore them.

10. You need to reward them for good behavior.

11. You need to send them to the principal.

12. You need them to explain their misbehavior.

13. You need to praise them often.

14. You need to use proximity with them.

15. You need them to fill out reflection forms.

16. You need to use behavior contracts with them.

17. You need to redirect their behavior.

18. You need to let them know when they have a good day.

19. You need to treat them differently than the rest of your class.

You

The entire notion that managing difficult students must be stressful, complicated, and a daily struggle is a myth in itself.

So is the idea that they are who they are and thus need to be appeased, manipulated, coddled, threatened, and bribed just to get through the day.

It’s all hogwash.

Once you have an understanding of what they truly need it becomes not so difficult after all.

You realize that they’re just kids in need of direction and recalibration. They’re kids in need of someone to restore their dignity and switch on their intrinsic motivational engines.

They’re kids in need of someone to unlock the potential lying dormant but churning restlessly inside.

That someone is you.

Note: I included links to make it easier to learn why each strategy is ineffective and what to do instead. Keep in mind, however, that in most cases there are several articles that address the problem.

If you haven’t done so already, please join us. It’s free! Click here and begin receiving classroom management articles like this one in your email box every week.

29 thoughts on “19 Myths Of Managing Difficult Students”

  1. Michael, just a note to let you know of the magical part your teachings have played in the complete upgrade in this 29 year veteran’s teaching. Now things are going closer and closer to the teaching I dream of doing. I think now and then about retiring from this work I have so come to love and enjoy, I will have 30 years on my 60th birthday (11/6/19). However, my days with my students are among the most wondrous of my life now. It’s such a blessing to have come under the reaches of your teacher’s umbrella. All the best, Mike Pickering

    Reply
  2. Hi Michael

    Thank you for every post! It’s been pivotal in my development as a teacher since starting last year.

    One question

    I teach English in Colombia. My 6th grade class (ages 12-13) is a deplorable situation. I’ve downgraded to micromanaging which is not helping at all, and yesterday in class I’m embarrassed to say that another teacher had to come in and shout at them in Spanish because their noise was disturbing other classes .

    With other teachers they work fine, as soon as I walk into the room, they switch behaviour. There are many reasons I can think of, but addressing those issues doesn’t solve the root problem.

    We still have 3 months left in this teaching year, and I want to make the most of them. How can I redeem a class at this point? What do you think is the best place to start?

    Thanks again

    Jordan

    Reply
    • Hi Jordan,

      Your situation sounds very familiar. In fact, I’m taking a day to go to a behavior seminar tomorrow because my 6th period is so out of control. Did you get a response from Michael? If so, could you share the advice. I would surely lose my sanity without the support of my fellow friends and teachers.

      Sincerely,
      Susan A.
      Austin, Texas

      Reply
    • Hi Jordon,

      You definitely need to start over. There are several article on the site that cover how to do this. However, for specific advice on a particular situation, I would first have questions for you. There is a cost involved, but you may want to consider personal coaching.

      Reply
  3. After many years of substituting, your article on reminders was “my keystone” and made the points you make come together for me. My district has put into place lots of behavior dos and don’ts which vary from school to school and have never worked for me. When I stopped giving reminders after my initial introduction and expectation talk and just started applying the plan, my day was more focused and less stressful. Many schools require me to chart behaviors by moving a clip so I just started everyone at the top because that was part of my expectation talk (students get a reward from their regular teacher if they reach the highest point) then if the student didn’t follow the rules, etc., I applied the consequence and moved the clip as a visual accompaniment.
    Now I just need to find “my keystone” to deal with students who use physical aggression to try to intimidate me.
    Thanks for your perspectives.

    Reply
  4. This is an excellent reminder of what doesn’t work. Sometimes I would seek advice from a colleague and they would give me one of the “fixes” you mention here. I’ve stopped doing so because I tried all of these “fixes” in my first 5 years of teaching and they were so ineffective, and sometimes made it worse, so that I seriously considered walking out on my contract between my 5th and 6th year.

    But, then I found your blog, and changed things. I now realize that respecting my students gets the best outcomes and while many may believe that the above is respecting them, it is in fact the opposite. When I would pull a student aside for a pep talk, it sent the message to them that I didn’t believe in them and didn’t think they could monitor themselves on their own. Now, I establish my expectations, and show them respect by leaving it to them whether or not they will comply. If they do not, I follow through with my escalating consequences.

    I now see that showing my students that I believe they can manage their behavior on their own is showing them respect. Having a pleasant demeanor where I don’t lecture them, condescend to them, or use sarcasm, is also showing them respect. Once I started showing my students that I trusted them to manage their own behavior without micromanagement, I started having the best school year of my career.

    Reply
    • Thank you, Jennifer. How do you remain consistent? I started using these techniques and things started to turn around in my “difficult” classes, but lately it is falling apart. Could you explain how you follow through with consequences without losing your joy?

      Thanks for your help!
      Susan A.

      Reply
      • Hi Susan,

        I’m so sorry I haven’t responded to your question sooner. We’ve had tons of snow and it’s been an interesting few weeks, trying to fit in learning in between the snow days.

        For me, not losing my joy was the realization that their behavior wasn’t personal. It feels personal because we work hard and we care so much, but it really isn’t. It’s kids being kids. While I teach high school and they are certainly physically mature, emotionally and mentally they are children. Reminding myself of this helps.

        I also remind myself that following through on my consequences is the best thing for me to do. It makes it clear to them what is and is not acceptable, giving them boundaries in which they can be themselves without feeling out of control (like bumpers we put up for kids in bowling). It also shows them that they can trust me and take me at my word. Trust and truth are big things with students, and can also help with classroom management.

        It is easy for me as my consequences start fairly small and escalate logically. The first is a warning accompanied by the loss of a daily point. If a disruption continues, even if it’s a different type of disruption, I dock further points and we have an FYI conversation after class where I let them know what I saw and how many points they lost because of it. I just tell them that I’m giving them a head’s up so they’re not surprised when they see their grade in the gradebook. I try to avoid all that Michael lists above. If that doesn’t turn things around, I email parents. When I send the email, I try to frame things as I am asking for their assistance to help their child’s learning rather than “tattling” on their child.

        If that doesn’t work, I assign an after-school detention and follow my school’s discipline policy. It hasn’t gotten beyond this stage. However, if that doesn’t work, I plan to refer students to the office for discipline. Admin has been looped in during this whole progression, so I know if I send a kiddo to them, they will back me up.

        I do all of this with a pleasant but business-like demeanor. It’s not subjective because I have told them that whether or not they work and participate is their choice. It will reflect in the assignment grade. But their daily points will only be docked if their choices begin to interfere with my ability to teach and/or others’ ability to learn. This then limits the consequences to observable behavior, which removes any subjectivity.

        I hope this all helps you. Best of luck to you. Keep doing what you know is right.

        Jennifer

        Reply
  5. It’s wonderful and so much helping tips.
    I’m a kindergarten teacher and I have some students like this .Many of these points I’m already applying on misbehaving children .
    Actually we must keep one thing in our mind that they are kids and they may need someone to share.
    We should provide a free and friendly atmosphere with tolerance and smile too.
    Thanks a lot

    Reply
  6. I recall one of Michael’s Newsletters that discussed “caring too much”. What I gained from that article is that I wanted my students to be engaged, and follow the expectations more than they did. The result of that method was that I was doing their work and mine at the same time, and getting burned out on a daily basis. This article suggests the same: Show your students respect by letting them care about their education, let them experience the consequences of their actions, and do your job of loving and teaching your students. I must say however, that this doesn’t happen overnight, you gotta keep at it.

    Reply
  7. Can you provide citations for the evidence base of your recommended practices? Our professional work needs to more of that: Evidence based. APA formatting would increase your credibility, Michael.

    Reply
    • Hi Dawn,

      The proof is in the pudding. However, if you are interested in related research, check out The Happy Teacher Habits.

      Reply
      • Great comment, Michael (proof in the pudding). I respect the desire for citations, etc, but I appreciate actual classroom proof rather than theory from graduate classes slathered with citations. I look forward to your next book and am still waiting for “Dream Class” on audible. I already have all books in print.

        Reply
  8. As long as my students know that every day is a new day, a new start, I don’t have much management to deal with–25+ years in our profession.

    Reply
  9. Always love your articles, but the problems we as teachers are seeing more mental health students, and the generation that doesn’t want their on meds for ADHD. These children are destroying the classroom. Seems nothing is working, and most can’t control themselves. Everyday seems to be a struggle and nothing is working. HELP!

    Reply
  10. I agree with Teresa Bradley. There are now so many students with mental health problems and parents who do not want medication for ADHD. The students are a constant disruption and refuse to comply with expectations and consequences. I would like to see you address this. Thank you.

    Reply
  11. Hi Michael.
    Thank you for your work, it is very helpful. How do you keep positive relationships with difficult students when most of your interactions are negative ie. giving them detention. I want to have more positive interactions, but it can be tough when I’m so busy all the time.

    Reply
  12. Next school year my school is implementing a “caught being good” reward system in the form of good behavior punch cards and free homework passes. All the teachers will be expected to follow this plan. I’m a firm believer in SMC and have been using it for years and it works beautifully! I do not believe in rewards for good behavior. Do you have a suggestion as to how I can keep on doing SMC and still keep administration happy?

    Reply
  13. I just recently found your articles and they are very helpful. My situation varies from a teacher’s standpoint though. I’m the ISR (In-School Restriction) Para, so I’m receiving kids (6-12) throughout the day for varies reasons. I’m curious how sending them to time-out (or away from others) would be possible in this situation. They have already been removed from the classroom, typically for the period or until they no longer have that teacher for the remainder of the day, they’ve typically talked to the Dean of Students (6-8) or the Vice Principal (9-12) before they come to me. They tend to listen when they are alone but when I have multiple in my room they tend to feed one another to the point where I can’t regain control. Any advice?

    Reply

Leave a Comment

Privacy Policy

-